There have been a lot of tears in my home lately. We had to say goodbye to our sweet little dog last week. Lily suddenly got sick over the weekend. By Thursday morning, it was clear she wouldn’t recover. I usually publish a new post on Fridays, but I just couldn’t get it together. I can’t believe she’s gone. Sure, she was older, and I knew she’d had a few health issues lately, but she went downhill so fast. It was very dramatic. Words cannot express how much she will be missed.
My dad came to spend the day with us, knowing it would probably be Lily’s last. She had a special relationship with Grandpa and was always excited to see him. Not Thursday, she was too sick. But I know it was comforting for her to have all the love we could give her at the end. Kisses, pets, hugs, soft words, and ear scratches were all given freely. We wanted her to know how much she meant to all of us.
Before he left for the day, Dad gave us some good advice. He told us that in times like these he tries to focus on was he has to be grateful for. It made me think of the quote: Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. I must admit, I’m doing both. I smile because Lily was the best dog our family could have asked for. I cry for the same reason. There will never be another like her.
I posted a message on my personal Facebook about Lily’s passing. It seemed the easiest way to explain without having to say it over and over. There was a huge response from friends and family. Many of them knew Lily personally. They feel her loss because they know the sweet creature she was. Others never met Lily, but they know the love of a dog and know the loss of one too. I was moved by the outpouring of support.
I will always be grateful for the time we had with her. Lily was one of the sweetest creatures I have ever known. She loved her family. She was always waiting for us to come home and greeted us with her beautiful plume tail wagging. Lily was easy going and patient with our kids. They loved to play with her. I would often find her dressed up in clothes or with a funny post-it note stuck to her head. Lily never seemed to mind. She sensed when someone needed extra love and stuck to them. She would check in on us when we were sick in bed and worry about us when we were gone too long.
We Gained So Much from Lily
We got Lily through a local rescue group. I was looking for a dog on Petfinder.com and saw her little face looking at me. Within a few days she was home with us. That was more than 6 years ago. I’ll never regret bringing her home. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Sure, my clothing and carpets were fuzzier. Yes, the backyard suffered a bit. And there are spots on my carpet that will never be the same. The love she added to our family more than makes up for all of that.
What a blessing pets are in our lives. Lily gave us unconditional love and acceptance. She loved to snuggle and stay close to her people. We got out of the house more because of Lily. We loved taking her to the park and the beach and for walks in the neighborhood. She was a great foot warmer and an excellent floor cleaner. What will we do about all those crumbs now? Her soft ears were so comforting to rub. I could really use them right about now,
Her kids will really miss her. Her boy, my son, was only 5 when we got her. He doesn’t really remember life before Lily. My middle child is the sneaky one. I’m sure Lily got more treats and scraps from her than almost anybody. She also took tons of photo of Lily. I am thankful for them now that she has left us. My oldest child loved Lily so much. I am pretty concerned about her right now. Lily was a source of comfort for her as she struggled with anxiety and depression. She was the one who walked Lily every day. And Lily adored her.
Can You Really Prepare Yourself?
I keep thinking “I wish I had been better prepared” for the end of Lily’s life. Was there something more I could have or should have done? I’m a planner by nature. I keep thinking if I had planned things out better, would I not feel so bad. But the truth is, loss is loss, no matter how well you plan for it. You can’t plan it out because you don’t know how it will affect you until it’s happening.
I knew Thursday that she was in really bad shape. The night before I had been up with her every hour or so. She was in a lot of pain and she had signs of internal bleeding. She kept going to secluded spots in the house and yard. All of Lily’s normal joys (peanut butter, walks, rides in the car, her family) held no interest for her. I had a feeling the vet would recommend euthanizing her. But I never had to make that call before. I know it was the right choice, but it was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
What Do We Do Now?
How do we move forward? I know each of my family members will have to do it in their own time and in their own way. I am keeping a close eye on my children. The next few days and weeks will be very hard for them. They will be for me too. I let the kids see me cry, but not as much as I could. I guess I am afraid of burdening them with my grief. At the same time, I want them to see me and know it is okay to grieve.
I have been thinking of the act of mourning. For our human friends, we have funerals, wakes, and memorials. Rituals like these help people grieve. Maybe we should memorialize Lily is some way. It might help us through this loss. Maybe it will be in the form of a photo album. Or maybe we’ll keep some of her toys in a special memory box.
Speaking of her toys, I plan on very slowly getting rid of her things. I have already put her food and water dishes away. I couldn’t stand to see them sitting in the kitchen. But her toys are still in her basket by the sofa. I am content to leave them for a while. I don’t want to clean it all up and then regret not keeping something.
Smiling Through the Tears
When I focus on all the joy Lily brought to our home, I am more likely to smile. She was a wonderful pet, a good friend, a great snuggler, and the best dog ever. At times, the sadness of knowing she’s gone is terrible, but I can smile and cry at the same time and that’s okay.
I know we will find another dog for our family. I think it will be sooner than later. We were married 18 years before we got Lily. I am not waiting another 18 to get another pet. But Lily is not replaceable. She was one of a kind. I know we’ll move forward without her, but we will miss her every step of the way.
Thank you for indulging me by reading this far. If you did, I’m thinking you either knew Lily or had a pet like Lily in your life. If you have experienced such a loss, I am truly sorry.
Thank you for reading and please share.
